The Beginning
by Tokeahontus420
Summary: This is a love story, a TRUE love story.
1. And It All Started Here

**First chapter! R&R!**

He walked in with the swagger of someone who was in control, for just a moment, as he walked in the room, the swagger faltered.I saw it, even two years later he wont admit it, but I saw and I know why. He was new, he'd never even stepped foot in the state before today. His name was Brandan. I remember the day like it happened only five minutes ago. He scanned the room,  
>as if expecting a pipe bomb go off and he needed to find the nearest exit, should it be a possibility. His hair covered the left side of his face, dyed a bleach blonde, no doubt a place holder for other colors he planned to paint his hair. Freckles played across his face,<br>high cheekbones a canvas for the splatter of the darker marks of skin. His eyes were a green.  
>I always told him they were fairy green, mostly dark forest but with tiny dots of pale brown decorating his irises. Like, fairies flying through the woods. His build was lean, but not scrawny by any means. He had muscles, you could tell even if he wasnt flexing. A full mouth was tilted into an unsure frown across his then he looked at me. And it was as if the whole air of the class had changed. Everything that was going wrong for me just clicked into place.<p>

"Class, this is Brandan Comer. He's from Oklahoma, welcome him"

We were in Texas history,per usual the teacher made him do an uncomfortable, but unavoidable introdution of himself.I never sat in desks, I never have. I don't believe in them. They meant captivity, something I openly objected to. I was perched on a zebra carpet, in the corner of the classroom. In front of me sat four desks, clumped into a group facing eachother. No one actually sat there, except for a boy who was rude and obnoxious. Until, she sat Brandan over there. I had to talk to him, I had to, to hear what his voice sounded like, just to hear it. Before I could think, I had blurted out "Does my voice sound weird?" I instantly realized the idiocy of my queston and clamped my big mouth shut. His eyebrows synched together, his mouth in an even more uncomfortable frown then before. "Um, no." I nodded accepting the answer.  
>Then, as if word vomit, I spilled "Do you smoke weed?" I don't know why I asked. I didnt even smoke weed. Not to say I didnt support the smoking of weed, but I myself never had the oppurtunity to get my hands on it. "Er, yeah" He replied. I felt my face rip itself into a grin uncontrollably. "I thought so" He gave me a strange look, so I returned to my map of Texas. I looked up again, just to sneak a peek at him. He was sneaking a peek at me too. Uncomfortable with the unexplained eye contact he was directing my way, I quickly looked down at my paper once ,I could still feel his eyes boring holes in my skin. The guys in the class were ecstactic to have another male joining us, as they were down on numbers compared to the girls. They crowded around the table to talk to him, but he looked at me. Mikayla, a petite blonde sitting in the group of desks to my right piped up in her cheery voice "Ray,do you like him?" She asked gesturing to Brandan. I looked up, and made eye contact with her, only stopping to glance at Brandan. YES, I liked him. It was wrong. Completely wrong,I didnt know him. I didnt even know his middle name, and the only reason I knew his first was because the teacher announced it. But, I did. I did. But I couldnt very well tell him that. What would he think? I couldnt say no, It was a lie I just couldn't bring myself to tell. Slowly, I replied "I have a boyfriend.<br>It wasnt a lie, I really did. He was abusive, and a sick human being. But he was my boyfriend. I didnt lie, but I didnt answer the question either. Mikayla seem satisfied with my non-answer and turned back to her map. I glanced back up at Brandan one more time. Only to see him looking down at his map. Secretly disapointed, I finished mine. After handing it in, I walked back to my place on the rug. Hoping just maybe my movement would draw his attention back to me. Only for a small second, did his eyes travel back to mine, and meet. It was like a silent agreement.  
>I was his, and he was mine.<p> 


	2. Save The Helpless

After the first day in Texas History, we kept to our agreement. If the other classmates picked on me, Brandan handeled it.

If they picked on him, which was a very rare occurance, I handeled it. Or, tried to. Eventually, we became bestfriends.

We walked to class together, sat by each other in an overcrowded horribly decorated with school pride cafeteria, sat by eachother as much as possible in the single class we with one another, and talked to no end. He was the one person who knew

me inside and out from my crazy family to my even crazier bestfriend. He never judged me for it. He was my confidante, not like the other people I associated, they would spill any gossip you fed them. We hung around the same group of people, he had gotten a new girlfriend, Jessica. She was one of the crazier additions to the group, tall, pale, almond brown eyes, blonde hair, and a flair for piercings, She was more of Brandan's than I was now, but I had a boyfriend too, like I mentioned before, so it shouldnt have bothered me like it did. I mean, I was taken too, and didn't feel that way about Brandan. Did I? Oh but I did. Not that I would admit to myself, or to anyone to that matter, but not a month later, just as I had predicted, Jessica cheated on him.

She had a tendency to do that. She cheated on every boyfriend she'd ever had at our school, and everyone knew it. We tried to warn Brandan, we really did, but he didn't listen, he was, and still is, stubborn like that. It wasnt until the second time she cheated on him that he finally believed her. The first time, she was "pushed against a wall and kissed" of course, Brandan being the forgiving guy he truly is, believed her. They acted as if nothing happened, I was jealous and life went on, It wasnt until months later that she cheated again, just as I said she would. This time, he didn't believe the bullshit story she tried to force feed him and he broke up with her. I wasn't happy, I knew it hurt him, and I wasnt about to take joy in that, even if it meant them breaking up, but right about that time, summer started and he went to Oklahoma during the summer, meaning I never saw him.

This is where my secrets come out, where everything comes out into the open. As much as I hate to release it, it needs to be dont to tell the story, I'll vary the details a bit, but here it goes.

During the summer, I hit rock bottom. My boyfriend at the time was abusive, he made me do things I didnt want to, cut me off from all my friends and made me slip into such a deep depression, all I did was lay on my floor, pop pill after pill and pass out. Thats all I did, thats all I wanted to do. I didnt want to go anywhere or see anybody. I avoided seeing him the most. I would make up excuses as to why I couldnt go to the mall with, or I couldnt see that movie. Not only was I depressed, I was an addict too. Eventually we broke up, I got into my right mind and ended it for my own good. I tried to quit pills, but you cant break up with addiction. I relapsed three times, tried to commit suicide numerous times, but it always failed. Brandan says my gaurdian angel kept me alive for a reason. I just think I was doing it wrong. To try to keep myself from taking a pill, I would cut. Deep cuts on my arm to punish myself for the eight pills I consumed in one hour that morning. Finally, Brandan came back from Oklahoma, two weeks before school started, and that, is when everything truly changed. That, is when he became my hero.


	3. This is Where it Changed

When Brandan came back I was at my worst, I was recovering from my addiction and I looked sick. My hair had no shine, I was pale, and skinny, and I didnt know what to do with myself. I was so far gone that I needed help. I had never asked for help before in my life. I had never needed it, I was self efficient and independant, but now I was just a shell of who I was before, Like I, me, the real me, didn't survive what had happened. Like, I'd just died away with my innocence. Maybe I did. Maybe Im just pretending Im me when really Im just gone. I like to hope that didn't happen, but I'll never really be sure. Brandan had a brother, Stephen, my friend Randi, had gotten with Stephen during the summer. So when they both came back, Randi and I met the pair at the Mall. Brandan saw me, and I think he knew, just by looking at me that I was wrong. My whole Aura was just wrong. Stephen and Randi were completely oblivious to anything, which was to be expected, they were happy and in love, and blind to anything that was miserable.

But, Brandan knew. Brandan always knew, I could never lie to him. He knew me too well. Which irritated me to no end. There was and Arcade in our mall, it had millions of games, my favorite on was the stand disigned to look and work like Deal or No Deal. I was sitting on the stool attached to the platform and th screen when Brandan walked up. He hadn't said anything to me about how I looked or acted, so I assumed at the time that he had no idea and I was a master of disguise. Everything was normal. I was winning arcade tickets to get a really cool prize, Brandan and I were combining our tickets to get the scooter at the very top of the display case behind the counter. I was wearing a tank top, I dont know why, I dont even know why I didnt realize that wasnt a good idea, I was so messed up that morning that I couldn't think. I reached across the platform to hand Brandan the tickets 'd won playing Dance Dance Revolution, my underarm in full veiw. And he saw, the thin red lines parallel to eahother scowering my arm. He didn't speak, like a snake, his hand struck out and took hold of my arm. "What the fuck are these?" He asked. Anger tinging hos usually soothing voice. I jerked my arm away "Nothing. There nothing." Brandan's eyes turned to slits "What do you mean, 'nothing'. Why did you...?" I took a breathe to steady myself. "Alot of shit went down hill when you left." I said. He looked at me, expecting more of an explanation then I had given him. "I was in a bad relationship. He wasnt a good guy" He sighed heavily "Why?" I smirked sarcastically, "I dont really pick the great guys." "Why?" He asked, demanding an answer. "Because I dont deserve anything good." Brandan closed his eyes, clearly annoyed with my though process of myself "You deserve so much more" A dry laugh bubbled up from my throat. He was wrong. I was a sick person, weak, an addict. But he didnt know all that had happened to me, he was going off of who he knew before. Before the abuse, before the drugs, before depression came and ate away any of myself I still clung onto. "Promise me you wont do this again, promise me." I started to shake my head, but he gave me a look, I couldn't not promise. "Okay, I promise" He held up the pinky of his right hand, and I gave him mine, and there it was, the promise that I wouldnt hurt myself again. The promise, that for him, I would try to be who I was before it all ran downhill. I never cut again. I kept my promise. After that, we were even closer than we were in seventh grade. It started out innocent enough. I though I'd lost my feelings for him, but when I saw him at the Mall, they all came rushing back like nothing had happened. He was at my house 24/7, I remember one night we went to the Bowling Alley, with Stephen and Randi and their neighbor Josh. Josh was a sixfoot black dude who was literally, HUGE. Josh oicked up ayone he could. To prove a point, he picked up randi and threw her down. I bet him he couldnt choke me out, I was more normal then, I was in my right mind, in control again, so I bet him he couldnt choke me out, turns out he very well could. I couldn't get out of his grip. And I was pissed. Brandan came over, and got Josh off of me, he put his arm around me, hugged me and asked "Are you alright?" I nodded, pleased that he was so close and he was kinda holding me. Abruptly he smiled, and his arm was gone. Leaving me having to play off the fact that I took that for alot more than it was. A day after that, he was over again, we were on my apartment balcony sitting down and just talking. Thats what I loved most, we held conversations, he actually listened to me. I jumped to my feet and went to our storage closet. I brought out my skateboard and tried to ride it on the tiny spaced balcony, after the third time I almost fell, he caught my arm, looked directly in my eyes and asked "Do you want to catch you if you fall?" I hesitated. Was there a double meaning to that? Did he literally mean, if I busted ass he would catch me and thats it. Or did he mean if I ever went down again he'd help me back up? I stuttered and said possibly the most truthful and idiotic thing I could think of. "No, I need to learn". School had started back a week after the balcony incident, and we only had one class together, just like the school year before. And just like the school year before, I sat by him any chance I could. Sat by him in the same horribly decorated school pride cafeteria and hung out after school. On the weekends, we hung out on the balcony or went to the bowling alley. One weekend though, Ill never forget. We were going swimming at a friend of my mom's house. On the way there, Terry and old boyfriend of mine, had gotten back together. I thought itd make me stop loving Brandan, I just wanted him to be happy with his girlfriend, I didnt want to ruin that for him, so I tried to forget about it. Already, Terry had started a fight, so I immediatly was in an angry and sad mood. Brandan, of course, noticed. I climbed on the couch in the Entertainment room and covered up with a blanket. Brandan sat by me and made me feel better, even convincing me to actually get in the pool. I stayed in for a little while but at the time I really hated water, so I soon climbed out, dried off and went back to the couch to enjoy a nice episode of Family Guy. Meanwhile, my mother had gotten drunk,and feeled a glass of cranberry and vodka. In her drunken state, she forgot how to get out of the backwoods and back onto the main highway. Her also drunk friend was more then happy to direct us, inhis car, back to the highway. When we were ready to leave, Brandan and I climbed into the car. While my mother slipped into the drivers seat, and her friend got into his jacked up truck. When Brandan realized she and the guy in front of us were hammered, he told me to put on my seat belt, When I tried to put it on, the jack was broken, and I couldnt get the seat belt in. Brandan offered me his "Take mine" He said "No, Id rather I die than you." I replied determined. "Put the damn seat belt on Raynie." "No"

"Put it on. Please." The way he said please got me. I clicked it into the jack and brought my knees to my chin, scared shitless. "Dont be scared, I'll protect you with my life." He said. That was it, that was it for me. No one had ever told me that they would protect me. It was always "Take care of yourself, your tough" Everyone expected me to be a bad ass and take care of everything. Brandan wanted to protect me, he had said so. I looked at him, and just for a moment, all my walls came down, all my anger disapeared. I was protected. To this day Brandan says "That's when I knew you loved me back, I saw it in your eyes" And to be honest, that's when I knew it too.


	4. Truly, I Couldn't Help It

Honestly, I couldn't help it. We hung out everyday, I saw him everyday, he was my bestfriend. That I was in love with. By accident of course. I had to tell someone, I had to admit it to someone, even if I couldnt admit it to myself. I was convinced that it was a crush and it was all in my head and I could never love someone. I was just that way, after all I had been through, I couldnt believe in something as good as love, I was souly convinced that it didn't exist, and if it did, I didnt deserve it. No way in hell did I deserve something as good as Brandan. So, I told Lexi. Lexi was a good friend of mine that I had met when I went with a group of friends to the mall. She knew already, just by the way we talked to eachother, the way we gravitated around eachother, just the way we were. Like he was a piece of me, and I was a piece of him. I had never noticed it, I just thought that's how Brandan and I were, we just fit. Lexi told me something else "You love him Raynie. I can see it everytime you look at him, when he walks into a room you light up like its fucking Christmas morning'' I knew she was right. However, I liked my little hiding spot deep in the caverns of Denial Land so I stayed there. "No I dont, Lex" I laughed unconvincingly "It's a crush, it will go away" Lexi rolled her eyes, she was talented at it too. "Oh bullshit, you've been like that since seventh grade." She sighed "Bt, he has a girlfriend. Theres nothing you can do" Her eyes then turned devious "Unless" I saw it "Oh hell no. Im not breaking them up!" Lexi looked a bit dumbfounded "Why not? She's not even pretty!" Now it was my turn to roll my eyes "Really? Im not breaking them up. Your right, I love him. But I love him enough to want him to be happy and if that means he's happier with her and not me, then I'll deal with it" Lex shook her head sadly. And I did, I dealt with it. We would go to the bowling alley and we'd be the same as we always were, except I had a secret I prayed to God he'd never find out. We'd hang around at my house, except I'd pray to God he'd never find out. We'd go to the movies and laugh, except I'd pray to God he'd never find out. Are you catching my drift here? I didn't want him to know. I didn't want him to not love me back, and then it get akward. I didn't want to ruin his relationship.I just wanted it to be us, as we always were and if something happened (Which I did NOT day dream of during Math class...) then hell yes. Id take the chance. Three months passed, and we never grew apart, which is saying something because once people get the full view of me they usually run screaming. During the span of these three months, We went to a school function, "The Hot Dog Supper" There was games, and face painting and colorful spray you got splattered on your hair because your parents were too uptight to actually let you dye your hair some utrageous color that didnt wash out after one shampoo and rinse. Randi and I went, we had nothing better to do, so what the hell, why not? When we arrived, it had just started and some of our friends (Her friends. People I tolerated to live) were already there as well. We chatted and hung out and walked around aimlessly, as teenagers do at lame events such as that. It wasnt until about 6:30 that things got interesting. At least for me, anyway. We were in the gym, it was too cold to be outside anymore, and we were standing by the bleachers. All of the sudden I hear thudding feet behind me, so naturally I turn around. Here I see Brandan running at me, he bear hugs my surprised ass, picks me up and puts me down. Godammit, he was making this hard. Trying my hardest to hide my blush and not grin like the town fool, I smiled "Hey" Brandan was in fact grinning "Hey!" We hung out for a little bit, I watched him rap battle Xzavier, a friend of his, and then we parted ways. More than a little disapointed, I ambled along by myself. I wasnt with Randi anymore, her friends were idiots and couldnt hold an intelligient conversation to save their life. I ran into Darby, a really close friend of mine, who's crazy ex-boyfriend was stalking her. So, naturally, the badass I am (Yeah, sure) Told the dude to leave her the fuck alone or deal with me, and then the night went on. I was mostly by myself, but I liked it that way. I ventured back outside, and to my utter dismay was greeted by a cold blast of air, that never went away. _My god, Id rather be in hell right now, all toasty and warm. _Then something came along to brighten my mood, it was Brandan. We caught up with eachother. And here it goes, another memory I can recall like it has just happened.

We were standing outside, in the middle of the basketball court, and I was shaking like a leaf, "You cold?" Brandan asked, I nodded my head, because I really couldn't talk, what, with my teeth chattering and all that. He took off his jacket and before I could object, draped it around my shoulders, and then, he put his arm around me, and this time, he didnt let go. Josh saw us, all snuggled (Oh please, it was barely even a hug.) And decided to make a comment "I see ya'll, all snuggled up. I knew it, just admit it" Acting completely shocked with what he had just said, Brandan and I blurted out, almost as if on cue "Nothings going on" Brandan's arm still had let me go, something I found rather pleasing. Josh pursed his lips "Mhm" I laughed nervously and coughed. Then it was time to leave, Brandan lent me his jacket, hugged me goodbye, and that was it, I was on my way home again. And, I did NOT sleep in that jacket.

A few weeks after that, we went to the bowling alley, per usual. Except this time, I brought my other bestfriend Asia. Getting bored of the crashing of balls against pins (Dont even laugh at that,sicko.) We decided to go see Easy A, it was still in theaters and Asia and I were dying to see it. Brandan asked if he could come along and of course I said yes, hey, dont judge me, I was in love with him and if he wanted to see a chick flick with us, then so be it. The movie was great,and after while we were waiting outside of the theater for my mom, Asia asked "Ya'll could be like, friends with benefits'' I laughed it off. but in truth I wanted to mean more than that to him. I wanted him to love me back, granted that was probably never going to happen, but the moral is still there. When my mom finally arrived, we had to go to Brookshires for some food, we were running low. So we decided to make a fun trip out of this late night snack scrounging mission. I demanded that Brandan climbed into the mini cart found at the front of the store so I could push him around in it while Asia so casually felt up my ass everytime she got the chance, well, that's a bestfriend for you. A weird, very off, VERY DISTURBED bestfriend. (Thanks Azie) It was a fun night all in all. But, as soon as we dropped Brandan off at his apartment, I felt it. The feeling of never fully being able to have him. I hated it. "Ugh, I need to stop hanging out with him, everytime I do its live a hundred pounds of 'liking Brandan' dropped onto me" My mother shrugged "Okay then, stop hanging out with him" I looked at her like she had gone mental "Absoloutley not!" She laughed and so did Asia. Oh, leave me alone, I couldn't help it.


	5. When your heart drops

What if he didnt think of me like that? What if I really was just his bestfriend. What if the reason he did all those things, said all those things, was because he was just a good friend? Okay, but what if he liked me back? What if I could actually, for once be truly happy with someone. What if he made me smile, and laugh so hard tears streamed down my face, and I could look at him and know he saw me,  
>Raynie, he saw the best in me. What if I could look at him and know, for a fact that everything would be okay, that I was strong enough, and smart enough to know what to do.<p>I thought all of this, panicked. Completely and utterly panicked. This was bullshit, This would have never came up if it wasnt for Jackie and her loud ass mouth. I dont even know how it even popped up in our conversation, one minute, is talking about the Periodic Table and the next, Brandan is asking me if I like him. Holy shit. I froze, I didn't know what to say, It was like 's class all over again.<br>I knew I should have said something, anything. Sitting there frozen was not defending my case. I tripped over my words "We- we dont need to discuss this" Brandan insisted "Just tell me." I couldn't. I just couldn't risk it, losing him or our friendship. He was my lifeline. "Brandan, I really cant say" I mumbled.  
>My eyes were cast downward. All this time Lexi had just told me to suck it up and tell him, but now that the moment arrived, I couldn't get the words out. "Just say if you do or not" He said again. The bell rang.<br>I breathed a sigh of huge relief. But Brandan was not going to let me off that easy, he wouldn't let me step foot out of the godamn door. "Tell me. Just say so or not" I shook my head, not believing I was about to say this. "I'll text you it. Okay? I'm going to be late." Brandan, obviously satisfied, nodded in approval and let me by. Only to stop me outside of the door to give me a bear hug. Why did I always get flustered and girly by his damn hugs. I walked, shaky, into my next class. I could not believe that today was the day I was going to just lay my feelings out on the table to Brandan. This couldn't happen.  
>Everything would be ruined. This class was our last, after this, I would meet Brandan on the black top to say goodbye, and eventually he'd text me, inverably leading to him asking, again, if I liked him, to which I'd have to respond yes or no. Oh God, I was going to vomit. 3:40pm. It rolled around faster then usual, I think. Everything happened as I said it would, we met outside,<br>as usual, he hugged me goodbye, promised to text me, and I walked to my moms car. I had hopes, of course.  
>That he would forget to ask, and everything would go as it always had. Or that I'd actually tell him, and he'd fall in love with me, we'd get married and have babies. Although that was highly unlikely. But as I drove nearer to my mom's work, I knew that him forgeting something such as this was just as unlikely as us getting married. Surprisingly, it didn't come up until mom and I were leaving her work.<p>

"So, do you like me?" Hesitantly, I read his text. Knowing this would come up sooner or later.  
>"I know your happy with Maylynn. I wouldnt want to mess that up. I'm perfectly happy just being your bestfriend.<br>But, yes. I do like you" I texted back. It seemed like forever until my phone buzzed in my shaking hands.  
>I didn't want to open up the fucking text, I knew what it would say without even reading it. I was prepared for this. I was strong. I opened the text.<br>"Oh. Well it's kinda weird. Because I think of you as a bestfriend"  
>My heart hit my stomach, tears stinged the back of my eyes. My stomach, carrying the impact of my heart hitting it, lurched. "I know, I get that. Which is why I dont want it to be weird. Im happy just being your bestfriend" I texted back. Lying through my teeth. He texted back. "Okay" That night we talked on the phone like nothing had happened. The next morning everything was normal. It wasnt even slightly akward. But I was still stuck with the heart wrenching feeling that I would never be the one who made him smile, laugh until he was in tears. He would never look at me like I looked at him.<p>


	6. You'll Be Okay

God, it hurt. I played it off well, I never even showed a sign that my heart was breaking from the inside out. It was though, my fucking Lord it was. I had never loved someone as much as I loved him. His laugh lit me up, his hugs made me feel like I could finally breathe, after all the shit I'd done, said, smoked, I could finally breathe. That was over now. Not to say he didn't still bear hug me, or make me laugh. Everything was normal, like I said. We were normal. Except the phone calls got more frequent, actually, they turned into every night, until we fell asleep. He had me souly convinced I was his bestfriend. I didn't see the signs. He would give me his jacket, he'd smile when I walked into a room. I should have seen it, should have realized he lied through his teeth too, but I didn't of course I didn't, because I'm an idiot. Anyway, we played this game called "Secrets", we would take turns telling eachother secrets, and that's how Brandan knows every little thing about me. Because of that wonderful game, that's how I know him too. We were close, and people saw it. No one fucked with me,because I was Brandan's. Every one knew it, we could swear up and down nothing was going on but people saw how we acted around eachother. If he moved a certain way, so did I. If I shifted my foot, he followed. If I said something like "You remember that place by the um thing?" He'd know exactly what I was talking about. It was like we were magnets. It hurt my heart though, I'd cry myself to sleep when we wernt on the phone. Hell, I'd cry on the phone.

He wasn't mine, he was hers. And it fucking pissed me off, to tell you the truth.I was here, I may not have been prettier or nicer, but I lived in the same place he did, he was around me 24/7, he saw me everyday! Why couldn't it be me. I wanted to be the one he loved and kissed on. I wanted to be his girl...

But I wasn't So I tried to get over it. I mean, how hard could it be? He only hugged me everyday. He only sat by me everyday. I only saw him

EVERY,

FUCKING.

DAY.

But, it's cool. I'll try to get over you as much as I can, Brandan,

Turns out, that wasnt at all. I loved him, so fucking much it hurt.

Alot. But I never remember her talking to his...girlfriend..but only one time the whole time we were bestfriends.

He was at my house we were in the living room for once, and him and Josh had just raped my kitchen, so that was great. Anyway, she had the nerve to call him. At my house.

Okay yeah, she was his girlfriend. And yeah, maybe she didn't know he was actully at my house...

but the point remains, I didn't like her. Not one bit. So his phone rang, and he motioned for me to hush What the fuck. My house, I'll fucking scream if I very well pleased...

I didn't very well please. So, I hushed.

"Hey babe" Oh God, that hurt. His slight smile turned into a frown. "Your at a dude's house?" He asked,, just a bit concerned. I cocked my head, oh? She was at a dude's house? Interesting...interesting indeed. They continued to talk and then after about five minutes on the phone with her, he hung up with a "Okay babe, bye" There was no I love you or even an I miss you. Which kinda made my bestfriend side worried, but the inlovewithBrandan part kinda...hopeful.

"She's at a dude's house?" I asked. He nodded, and took a sip of his southerne home made sweet tea. ''Why?" He shrugged. 'A bunch of her guy friends are up there." I furrowed my eyebrows. "Your not mad?" I asked. He laughed "I cant be. I'm over here, aren't I? Oh, touch`e Brandan. Touch`e.

"This is true" I agreed, reluctantly. And then the day went on. And it hurt worse everyday. But I wanted him in my life, even if I only played the part of bestfriend.

But, my god, when he smiled at me, my chest felt like it was cracking. I was so sickingly in love with him.

Halloween was coming up, my favorite holiday. Lexi and I were going trick-or-treating and I was excited as hell. Finally, something to get my mind of Brandan. I put my face paint on, and we loaded up. We headed towards the rich part of town, it was known for excellent candy and what not, It was really fun, I had a suger high, the night was perfect. When we were leaving, I saw Randi in the parking lot, she also had her face paint, not as cool as mine but, come on, what can I say.

Anyway, we said hi and I asked her what was up and she said she was trick or treating here too. Really not wanting to go back home, I asked Lexi if it'd be cool if I went with Randi. She said yeah it was fine, we hugged and the night went on. Randi and I had gotten on the subject of Brandan and his girlfriend while we were out scrounging for treats.

"I'm done. I think I'll just try to let him be happy with her and not have my heart break in two"

Randi grinned at me, I mean really grinned at me.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"They broke up" She said.

They broke up.

Oh.

Brandan and Maylynn broke up.

...

Ah shit is Brandan okay?

Yeah honest to God that's the first thing I thought.

I whipped out my cell phone and called him.

First ring.

Second ring.

Come on pick up

"Hello?" He sounded like complete shit, I'm not going to lie.

"Hey, it's Ray, Are you okay? I heard about...well I heard about you and her breaking up"

He sighed.

"It hurts" He croaked.

"I know, but I promise it will get better. It will take time, but it gets better."

"How do you know?" He didnt ask it in a mean way, he really needed to know.

"Because I know" I paused. ''What happened?" I asked. Deep breath from Brandan's end. "I was at Grayson's, we were sitting by the fire, near the lake. And we had gotten on the subject. I told him she was in Oklahoma, I never saw her. I couldn't do it." I was silent, hoping he would continue. He did. He told me to do whatever I felt was right. So, I called her and told her the truth. I couldn't do it anymore. I never saw her" I nodded to myself, sad for him. "I know I promise you'll be okay. What happened then?"

"We got off the phone, I ripped the nechlace she gave me off my neck, and threw it in the fire, I felt free. So I jumped in the lake." I chuckled. Something Brandan would do. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, Im fine." Was his answer. "Text me?" I asked "Yeah" Okay.

"Your going to be okay"

"I know"

"Bye Brandan"

I love you.

I wish you were okay,

I wish you were here so I could hug you and give you my candy,

"Bye"

Click. And the phone went dead.

Shit.


End file.
